The Slience Word

As i listen to countless ballads and tunes depicting love, i cannot help but wonder if it was a tangible subject. Each rhythmic tune set my my pulses spurring up and down, as though it was following the emotion in the music. Maybe it was. The longing of someone is simply a magical force. It makes you more sensitive. The slightest breeze can send your hair tingling on their ends. The gentlest touch can send a pure jolt of ecstasy, almost sinful, down your spine. And of course, the murmuring of a word seem to be so much heavier now; every letter seems to be given its own weight.

You begin to analyze their actions, watching them in the dark like a ninja. It becomes an obsession. You double-think, triple-think until nothing seems to make anymore sense. Each twitch of her lips, tension in her muscles, they are become so obvious now. It was almost like inspecting something under a microscope. This is where things become darker. You covered all the possible interpretation and causes, gather public opinion, and even started praying every single night.

Then you realized, the 'something' you were examining, was an except of yourself. You simply could not recognize it anymore. Something had evolved in the silence. Those silent prayers. They had tolled a dreadful dirge.

Hear me now
Do not run
What i yearn
a definative
What i seek
is just you
What i hope
nevermore
In the abyss
the trinket rattles

-Sanity's Eclipse

A study at the effects of people not replying to messages

Well, it has been a while since i blogged! This holiday sure has been epic for me in turning the mundane and rhythmical tides of life. Frankly speaking guys, i myself have been pondering too. I mean it is always very nice to hear that my close bros are seeing someone that are interested in them. To be honest, its really like a fairy tale. I was happy for them from the bottom of my heart.

...But somewhere, it was yet another scar haunting me again.

Don't get me wrong, i am not one of those guys that whine over their ex-s and muff over bottles of expensive liquor. In fact i am really grateful of my experiences; though short, each of them have a weight in my heart. They really shaped me to who i am today.

But today, i am encouraged no more.

I mean i understand, people do not reply messages when going out with their pals and stuff. At least from my past experiences i taught myself that. However if you were able to clear my messages off the whatsapp list, why wont you just acknowledge them? I know you are having the time of your life and i do not want to bother you with my dull and burdensome messages. So i waited and waited. Maybe i was a fool all along to expect something. Maybe she had just forgotten to reply my messages? Maybe she is still out? Maybe it was just me...?

Every little buzz on the phone got me so excited only to end up disappointed. Trust me, many will not say it but nothing beats the vicious cycle of crushing and reconstructing hope in tearing someones soul apart.

I think everyone just needs a little acknowledgement from time to time to make a little difference in others lives. So next time my dear friends, if you are thinking about whether to reply that message on whatsapp or not, please do. A little kindness can go a long way to making someones day. If someone has the courage to message you, do acknowledge the effort.

Looks like its just me being all sensitive and stuff like that again, huh.

I hope you had a good day. I certainly did.

Sanity's Eclipse

Its in your eyes
a colour fade out
you were the ghost of what you were
drifting through days and hours
longing for a cure
one that ends the unholy rage
that plagues what remains of love

the rain kept falling
and feets still shuffling
but til you stare in the eyes
one will never behold
that pain and rage were such a couple
watch as they tear a soul apart
and for the silent screams you will never hear
let the melody smother any trance
all of sanity's eclipse

白色的王牌

  一秒内，世界的所有都毫无价值了。一场名为爱情的赌局，你玩得起吗？
 
  世界上没有永远的赢家，也没有恒久的败者。我很相信。我很想相信。

  朋友的劝告，我没听。一心以为只要毫不约束的给予对方自己的一切，结果一定会是渴望的。

  All In.

  很豪迈地把自己就这样押了上去。若赌的是心，心死了，人也就应该死了。但我死不了。
 
我输了。输给一个我连名字都不懂的对手，输给了一个久违的朋友，输给了她。

她就在我面前，很平静的依着背包。女孩的头发在微风中舞动着，带着轻轻的旋律，因为她是快乐的。有了伴侣的人怎能不快乐？

马尾解了，来不及爱，就终了。

我可能不能喜欢你。你已经不给我选择了。白色的王牌。

为爱。终



 

爱情的随堂笔记

爱情的随堂笔记

第一章：你为了什么而战？

人们常说，一个人往往都是在最不经意的时候，发现了人生中最美好的事物。之所以会这样，我想是因为上天就是喜欢给我们这种惊喜，让我们继续相信着命运的存在。我此生最美好的事物，也许就是在一种可以比拟世界大战的擂台上找到的。

一个擦身而过。一个眼神定格。整个灵魂震荡。我看到的，不是鬼。

我回神时，在那微亮的走廊里，映入双眼的就只是那女孩的背影和那轻盈飘逸在无情的夜风中的短发。没了长发的柔情，却多了短发的浪漫。不知怎么了，周围好像变得更加的温暖，夜风也不那么刺骨了。

落花无情，流水有意。

但战场，是残酷的，容不得一丝的怠慢，糟蹋了这童话。哨声四起，风声鹤唳，一地的的樱花就顿时被无数飞驰的脚步给蹂躏了。“喂，发什么呆，再不跑就被枪毙了！”萧杰边敲边哄着，语气里充满着惊慌失策。兵荒马乱，当时我的心里却兴奋得不得了；我已处在了超拽的状态，因为我已经找到了奋斗的理由。

我扭动着脖子，给双手延展了一下。从骨子里发出的清脆的声音，被那早已空荡的走廊回响，直逼我的心脏，使我的血液马上被激动的狂奔到我身体的四处。我使劲的朝空气发出了一拳，然后披有深意地看了萧杰一眼，用豪迈的口吻喝道“LETS PARTY!”

“你。。。疯了啊？”语气中带有很严重的关心。

“我们朝着梦想热血的飞翔吧！”我说的话让萧杰更加担心了，但我心里却很清晰，我终于找到了奋斗的理由。我不用借喻月亮的诗意，需要的只是那女孩的背影；月光虽美，但是遥遥比不上那背影的亲近与激昂。而我的梦想，不过就是想多靠近你。月亮若吃醋，就放马过来与我单挑吧!抱着连月亮都不放在眼里的自信，迈着梦想的航线迎风而使。

弥漫在烟雾里的心事，越看越浑浊。

Hello大家好！好久好久没写了，也不知道怎么突然想写些什么的。然后也就很巧合的想起了Blogger，所以就复古一下咯！

也许大家从哪里听闻，一向行踪如云的我最近与同学到柬埔寨/越南玩玩。但这次先不讲这个？做么？就是不想，改次再讲。弥漫在烟雾里的心事，越看越浑浊。

怎么每次出国都那么造化弄人呢？一个只想把国外的空气装进水壶里的男孩，一个眼神里藏着无底深渊的女孩，就在那古老的街道里，对着男孩相机，宣示这伟大的冒险。

男孩有种特殊的才能；能轻而易举的解读心灵，当然要杜方肯让才行。女孩的每一个动作，每一个笑容，每一个呼吸，男孩都默默的用大脑拍摄下来。每一个眨眼，便是快门的一闪。男孩发现，女孩好像。。。不，该说是也许。。。但又多偏袒于仿佛，有那一丝丝的暧昧。

男孩慌了。不是天崩地裂那种惊天动地的疯狂，而是那种，不小心把杯子装过头，白开水慢慢，无声的溢出来的那种白色惊心。动物遇到危险时会假使，男孩遇到这位所发生的场面只好选择装傻，蒙骗自己的意识。“别傻了，谁会对你动情？”就这样自我注射一种痛苦的物质，封闭自己的心灵，卷成一团，心里在哭泣。

爱情，用了大脑，就会成为友情，永不超生。

男孩想对女孩说的话，就只能在这里说了。听闻与否，都由天命，就如相遇。

对不起，爱情始终很奇怪，非得两人行才可。听闻你最近多了些忧愁，很抱歉，都是我的错。我是一个很多疑的人，对方对我好，我会怀疑，我会猜测，我会加防。但对你，我不会。所以我更不想撒谎。我不是不喜欢你，只是我不清楚我能投入其中，不伤害你。我对你说过，我不会伤害我喜欢的人，所以我犹豫了。这都是我的错。

我只能说我可能不能喜欢你。